I need a hug. Or a rant. Or a large vat of ice cream and someone to hold me while I go full on panic mode.
I am a student nurse in my third and last year of Uni before I head out into the real world of work.
A little bit of background info: I started my newest placement in November. I did this placement (working in hospitals full time for 'experience') for 6 weeks before the xmas break. I'm due back there this coming Monday for another 6 weeks.
When I first started my placement, I told my mentor (a registered nurse I'm meant to be shadowing) that I worked best if for the first few weeks she basically told me what to do.
Since then, I have had little to no input from her. I've worked things out for myself with no feedback. When I've needed help in an area which I had no experience of, I asked her and got no response, so I asked someone else. ALL the other staff are lovely and really helpful.
Just her!
We have these 'interviews' where we have a chat and log progress etc.
Before xmas, we had one of these interviews where she stated that she had been concerned about me because I hadn't been "autonomous enough" (basically doing things for myself, working independently without input or help) but that I had made massive improvements. She wanted me to return with the same attitude I'd had for the past couple of weeks (Doing my own thing and making learning opportunities for myself because she damned well wasn't going to help me do anything).
I left the placement for xmas break on what I thought was a positive note. I'd 'improved' in her eyes. She seems to have very high expectations of a third year with no experience of a very intensive mental health care ward.
There's a lot of things I don't agree with there, and I've told her so in confidence.
I also had a little time off where I was very very sick with a vitamin D deficiency. It was so bad I was being sick all the time, needing an excessive amount of sleep and had constant headaches. I told her this too, because she wanted an explanation for my "lack of presence".
Now: I have received an email from my personal tutor at Uni, requesting that we meet, with my mentor in order to discuss some 'concerns' she has about me. I have no idea what the hell these concerns are and why she felt the need to email my personal tutor regarding them.
Having spoken to a friend on the same course, she has jumped a few hurdles in regulation and these concerns should have been addressed with myself personally and an action plan been put into play in order to correct any 'slights' before she even thought about contacting Uni.
As far as I am aware, my mentor an I have spoken at length about the 'concerns' I knew she had with me, and I was not only working on improving those areas, but also she said NOTHING to me about them apart from that I was improving.
APART from that it had maybe taken me too long to adjust (which after no instruction or feedback from her in previous weeks, I believe is wholly understandable)
So basically, now... my bloody course is in jeopardy, I'm so worried I feel sick and feel like crying, and my personal tutor has no idea what 'concerns' my mentor has!
I need lots of hugs. Like a whole lot of them.
