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Ara

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Confessions
« on: July 21, 2015, 02:14:44 pm »
Sometimes I feel the need to blurt out odd but true things about myself when I realize them. Anyone else have that?


Anywho, I totally listen to Nicki Minaj when I need an fast boost on my mood. It's so effective that I might actually buy a cd. And yes, I still buy cds because I still don't like itunes and I live in one of those countries where amazon won't let me buy mp3s.

Oh, and last summer my mother-in-law bought me some sort of berry pie from a McDonalds that I was crazy prepared to hate but loved. The kind of loved where you hope they won't make it anymore because you know you shouldn't eat it. I don't even know what kind of berry it was supposed to be, but I ate three.

 :ninja: truth ninja

Beau

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Re: Confessions
« Reply #1 on: July 21, 2015, 05:52:32 pm »
I read Krystal's 7/19 - 365 entry and couldn't sleep last night.

http://www.paragraphite.com/index.php?topic=306.msg8349#msg8349

Part, because I have this "thing" with kids and death, and part because I have a younger son who suffers from mental illness.  While this wasn't really about either thing, I wondered how true it could be...and like I said I didn't sleep.

I had to re-read "Pretty Paper, Pretty Ribbon" - which wasn't really so bad, but I shouldn't rest on past laurels to distract me.

 :b:
« Last Edit: July 21, 2015, 06:06:47 pm by Beau »

Thunderstruck

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Re: Confessions
« Reply #2 on: July 21, 2015, 06:30:16 pm »
Sometimes I feel the need to blurt out odd but true things about myself when I realize them. Anyone else have that?


 :ninja: truth ninja


No, but I do feel the need to alert all my friends every time I get laid. I know it's teenagerish, but considering I didn't have sex when I was a teen, I'm retrocompensating.

Pride

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Re: Confessions
« Reply #3 on: July 21, 2015, 07:43:52 pm »
I eat my food in very particular ways.

For example, if I'm eating a sandwhich: first I squish the bread as much as I can into the meat and cheese, then I eat around the side until I make a perfect square. Then I eat around the side again until I make a perfect circle. Then I make another square, eat the corners in perfect semi-circle bites, and then make one final square before I finish it off.

It's completely automatic, I don't even think about it unless someone stares and asks me what the hell I'm doing.

Jill the Ripper

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Re: Confessions
« Reply #4 on: July 21, 2015, 08:31:46 pm »
I've been spending the money I've been (trying) to save in my Tokyo fund and I really

really

shouldn't.

I blame it on eyeing off stuff like this:


 

You can only buy them secondhand now, and they cost...  a lot.   But I really want this one too:


/sobs

:jill:
:bow:

Ara

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Re: Confessions
« Reply #5 on: July 21, 2015, 09:40:57 pm »
This is already getting interesting..

Jill! I knew it! I see your instgram of new stuff pics!

Beau you're not the only person I know who gets particularly upset about stories with death and kids.

Pride, you should film that for us!

TS, you should not film that for us.


 :ninja: I don't own bowls. I just use large mugs. I also use a large plastic cup instead of a rolling pin.

Pride

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Re: Confessions
« Reply #6 on: July 21, 2015, 10:16:09 pm »
Haha, as amusing as it is to think of all of you watching me eat a sandwich, I don't think it'd be that entertaining.

I'm an extremely neat person, but it's not because I like things clean (that's a nice bonus). Everything has its particular place, sitting at a particular angle, because that way I will always know if someone has been through my house or touched my things. I do it with practically everything I own. Even certain things that appear haphazardly placed are done so intentionally. For example, my toothbrush - I always set it at an odd angle, brushes facing the corner between the mirror and wall in its stand, with the plastic end resting just to the right of the center of the stand. I can walk into any room of mine and know from a glance if someone has been there since I left and I can tell exactly what they did.

My girlfriend thinks I'm paranoid. I just like to know when people touch my shit. That said, I'm beginning to worry this thread might make me realize I'm more neurotic than I like to admit.

Krystal Itzume

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Re: Confessions
« Reply #7 on: July 21, 2015, 10:41:36 pm »
I read Krystal's 7/19 - 365 entry and couldn't sleep last night.

http://www.paragraphite.com/index.php?topic=306.msg8349#msg8349

Part, because I have this "thing" with kids and death, and part because I have a younger son who suffers from mental illness.  While this wasn't really about either thing, I wondered how true it could be...and like I said I didn't sleep.


Sorry Beau >.>

I just read a lot of horror stories and lately I've been in a horror movie watching kick as well. Somehow through all of that, 7/19 was inspired. Mental illness wasn't a thought, if that helps (or doesn't). So I guess that's my confession. I obsessively read and watch horror things, often with the hope of getting scared myself.

Lightning

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Re: Confessions
« Reply #8 on: July 22, 2015, 04:55:52 am »
well, since we're on horror...

i'm an absolute wuss when it comes to horror movies. i like the concepts which gets me watching them till i practically piss myself. i watched the conjuring basically under the sheets while screaming bloody murder. i also learned the neighbors literally don't give a shit if i die or not.

my boyfriend pulled the worst prank on me once because of i'm such a wuss with this stuff. we watched the babadook and it has this fucking terrible raspy voice where it goes "ba...ba...dookdook." so my boyfriend, being the evil asshole that he is, records the damn thing and plays it two days later under my bed at about 2 in the morning while i was studying.

yeah, i flipped my shit. it was terrifying, and he still finds it to be the greatest thing ever.

Beau

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Re: Confessions
« Reply #9 on: July 22, 2015, 05:29:42 pm »
I confess that I have absolutely no place suitable to wear dresses like Jill has shown.  Absolutely none...

Peregrine

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Re: Confessions
« Reply #10 on: July 22, 2015, 07:04:49 pm »
Ara,
I am totally this way- Sometimes I want to tell people random crap about myself to see if they believe me or think I'm making it up- the few times I've actually come out and said things people have laughed it off and thought I was joking whether I was or not.... so I don't do it much.

That being said... some not so confessy confessions...

I've never had a drink in my life and I've always wondered what champagne and wine taste like, and wonder what I'd be like drunk. :sortinghat:

 I've also had a burning desire to dye my hair all sorts of crazy colors :rainbowsheep: since I was a teenybopper, but probably never will because of societal and religious "norms". So for now I clip in crazy colors during the week when I'm less likely to see people I go to church with.

Despite the immediate former, I wish I lived in the 1940-50's- just for the fashion- I love the hair and the high waisted dresses with poofy skirts that house wives wore- I would wear those every day if they were still readily available to buy or my sewing skills were better and I could sew them. 

 I'm sorry for the sleepless night Beau, but I'm sad you thought Pretty Paper wasn't so great... =[  I still love it
I had to re-read "Pretty Paper, Pretty Ribbon" - which wasn't really so bad, but I shouldn't rest on past laurels to distract me.


Ara

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Re: Confessions
« Reply #11 on: July 22, 2015, 08:44:05 pm »
Pere, in my opinion, you're not missing out on liquor. It doesn't taste great. The best drinks are the ones where they hide the booze in sugar and, well, I'd rather just have the sugar, myself.

Ugh! I wish I colored my hair fun colors too! And had a perm! I always wanted to have the nerve to get ringlet curls.

Beau, I think only porcelain dolls have a suitable place to wear Jill's dresses- and it's on Jill's shelf.

 :ninja: Big confession. I can't write in cursive. I just wrote sloppy and never picked up my pen and somehow got through the whole cursive learning part of school. I can write as much cursive as I can sign the alphabet- my name.

Beau

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Re: Confessions
« Reply #12 on: July 22, 2015, 11:33:43 pm »


 I'm sorry for the sleepless night Beau, but I'm sad you thought Pretty Paper wasn't so great... =[  I still love it
I had to re-read "Pretty Paper, Pretty Ribbon" - which wasn't really so bad, but I shouldn't rest on past laurels to distract me.

You misunderstood me.  I love it too -- the "wasn't so bad" was because it filled the time and brought back that feeling.  Not that the thread wasn't so bad....

So, I guess I can confess that I think I write well, and that my sense of humor translates....but it doesn't so I'm just deluding myself.   


Maybe it doesn't matter that I've so far failed at every goal (set in the goal's thread).  Typically I need deadlines to work, but it seems I've gotten a bit lazy on the accountability front.

Feeling blue today -- should I just post in the "need a hug thread"?  Let me know when my whining gets too much.

Peregrine

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Re: Confessions
« Reply #13 on: July 23, 2015, 04:31:10 am »
Oh Beau! Totally not your fault... written conversations are so hard to get the emphasis across!

Glad you still like our little Western as much as me =]

Also, until you quit, there is still a chance to finish that list- truth be told... I made a cake and that's all that I've accomplished on my list.

Ara

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Re: Confessions
« Reply #14 on: July 23, 2015, 10:17:48 am »
Yeah, I haven't accomplished any of my writing goals so far. Still waiting to hear back and it's killing me!

And, as someone reading one of your books, Beau, it's great. It's legit and I have no idea what about it has been torturing you because it reads like a good book I bought off a shelf. So far, it's funny and dark and your main characters are super real. And, you know, mystery gives me the heeby jeebies.

But I get having days where you just feel down about things. I think we've all been there.

 :ninja: when I'm down I watch really yuppy shows. Like Girl Meets World. I love that sappy 90's style disney show.


Thunderstruck

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Re: Confessions
« Reply #15 on: July 24, 2015, 09:41:54 am »
Joining this site, has been like having a bucket of cold water dumped over me.
What I mean is, I have for the past few years put my writing, and most of my photography on the shelf, by necessity, because it has taken all of my attention, and energy just to make sure my family survives.

For the first time in about 8 years, Mrs. Struck and I are in a place where we can start to breathe a little more easily regarding our financial life. At once, I did what people often do, when things stop being so damn hard all the time: I started slacking a bit. I mean sure, I sold a few shots to a few companies who in turn used them as company or project logos, but I really didn't go balls out to make anything happen.

Then I noticed what my fellow rpgcites, and or former fellow rpgcites were up to, and I was like, hey wait a minute, Thunder(no I don't really call myself Thunder, in my thoughts)"If you have brain one in that head of yours, you'll do something worthwhile with this gift of more time, and a better situation.

First I enrolled in school online(that was before paragraphite actually, but I didn't quite take it seriously until I came here).
Then I started taking a solid look at what my peers in the photographical  world are doing. Normally I don't give a rat's fuzzy pitootie what other's are doing, because I'm not trying to hop on any trend wagon, I have my thing, they have theirs. I started really matching my skills against theirs, and cleaning out from my mind years of mental bullshit I got told, and used to believe, even if I publically denied ever believing in such.

Now I'm taking a look at my unfinished writings and ramblings I have stored on ye olde external hard drive.

I'm glad to see real writing resource tips on this site. I think I'll need them at some point in the near future.

So thanx, people of paragraphite, for waking this tired old, workhorse out of his yers long funk.

Q

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Re: Confessions
« Reply #16 on: July 25, 2015, 12:28:19 pm »
Confession:

When I come here and take a browse, I frequently have every intention to join something, start something or continue something.
Sometimes I even create a thread looking for something.
I love writing, I really do, but life more often than not gets in the way.
And then I feel bad because I feel as though I'm letting my fellow rprs (or possible co-writers) down.

I believed my summer was more or less a free haven where I wouldn't have so much to do, but apparently the 'powers that be' had other plans. Only JUST finished for the 'summer' (and still have 1 essay to complete and submit).
I still crave a good old written adventure, but fear my inability to fully commit long term.

This is why I should have been a creative writer at Uni, instead of a future nurse. Though, with it being mental health nursing, I frequently wonder how good I'd be at an advise column. Hahaha.

Lightning

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Re: Confessions
« Reply #17 on: July 26, 2015, 05:54:41 am »
Confession:

When I come here and take a browse, I frequently have every intention to join something, start something or continue something.
Sometimes I even create a thread looking for something.
I love writing, I really do, but life more often than not gets in the way.
And then I feel bad because I feel as though I'm letting my fellow rprs (or possible co-writers) down.

this is like, basically word for word how i feel sometimes, so i feel ya. it's troubling to have something that you love and to slowly realize you don't have time for it anymore, especially when you use to.

Jill the Ripper

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Re: Confessions
« Reply #18 on: July 26, 2015, 03:17:33 pm »
i just wanted clearly stated that i do not collect porcelain dolls.  i have a few... but they're all childhood ones so tHERE.

i also want to confess that i don't have places to wear those dresses either - i just do it, lmao.  i don't do it alone, however -- the reason i tend drop money on dresses instead of saving is because my friends are into the fashion, too.  so we go out and shop, or eat (mainly eat) and while i have a respectable collection of those kinds of dresses, every now and then i feel... pressured, a little, to be like BAM! something newww. 

not that my friends are putting any pressure on me, but as a group the discussion is always focused on the fashion.  like, it has a hugeee online community, most of it ugly and geared towards anon!gossip and releases for new "prints" (for example, the last dress in my last post is a print cause it's covered in illustrations~), so inevitably i start to buy into the... hmm.  i don't want to say hype but that's the only word i got at the moment.  sometimes being in a group of friends where you were all united purely by fashion is like being stuck in a really expensive vacuum.

also i bought that last dress in my last post.  27,000-something yen.  And the matching socks. the matching headbow was sold out in the green.  at least when i do finally make it to tokyo i will be dressed cute /sobs

and yeah, i have NOT kept any of my goals in the goals thread and i'm a little ashamed to show my face. 

Thunderstruck

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Re: Confessions
« Reply #19 on: July 26, 2015, 08:31:44 pm »
Fret not Jill. We're not judging you.

I find your taste in fashion refreshing. I used to read gothic beauty magazine back when I lived in civilization. Those dresses of yours remind me of the DIY section from that magazine.

I confess, that I myself am into all things military. Some vintage, some current. I have hats, backpacks, jackets, fatigues, and weapons galore. I have no place to put any of it, but I value quality, and you can't get more quality than made for military.
I'm trying to save up for a Glock 19. It just came out, and I want one. It's a 9x19 9mm semiautomatic handgun which holds 19 rounds in its standard size magazine *drools*
Unfortunately I just found a deal on 1960's era swiss aplenflage hats, within my immediate price range.

I know I should be amassing a couple of reliable weapons systems, and ammo, and archery supplies, in case the economy goes sideways which the economists are predicting it might, by the end of 2016. I hope they're wrong but I want to be prepared.

Lightning

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Re: Confessions
« Reply #20 on: July 26, 2015, 08:36:13 pm »
Fret not Jill. We're not judging you.

i'm always judging you, bb, but you know this. save your money so you can pay for my trip to visit you.

and i'd confess something but yeah no.

Krystal Itzume

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Re: Confessions
« Reply #21 on: July 26, 2015, 10:09:21 pm »
Confession: I would own all of those dresses if I had the money. Jill knows this. I had her direct me to good websites.

Soon....

And I'll wear them out bowling and to comic-cons and renfests and to embarrass my friends in cafes.

And I'm still judging her. xD

 :spidercake:

Jill the Ripper

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Re: Confessions
« Reply #22 on: July 26, 2015, 10:26:13 pm »
psh.  juDGE away.  i spend too much money on it to fret.  although there's probably a reason it reminds you of that gothic magazine - the fashion's properly called Elegant Gothic Lolita, although now it's just pretty much Lolita.

Here's a ten minute documentary.  It's dated now, by about four years.  Lolita has a high turnover in trends.  It's also made by 'stRAYANS.

Here's a more recent one. It's like four minutes long and not very serious, but it's a better glance at what the fashion looks like now. There's a part II and III, and it's made by the same pair that made the older one I've linked.

There are other docu shorts, too, a couple of american ones and one on the amsterdam community -- but the american ones feature the LA comm and i hate their leader and her accent with a burning passion, and the amsterdam one is weird and the docu host keeps harping on about women dressing to ~reconnect~ with a more ~innocent time~ free of ~sexualization~ which is bULLSHIT.  ALL of them, including the first i've linked, also talk about how dressing weirdly helps with shy or something poxy like that -- i will never understand it.  i am not a shy person and i do not understand how a shy person could wear it; it's not a fashion for the faint hearted.   people stare.  people take photos -- sometimes they even ask.  if anything, i would argue that that you kind of have to even like the attention to enjoy it.  or maybe be oblivious to it.  people either love it or hate it.  like, i just wore one of my dresses to the city, yesterday, because i could -- i met up with a friend who was out of frills, but still in like, bright pink, and we both had people come up to us, continuously.  one older guy meet us at the traffic lights and then walked with us a little talking about tokyo and how you see girls dressed similar there.  he was sweet.   and then when we were stationery shopping a lady asked me if i'd made my dress (lol no) and seemed absolutely amazed by it.  and then another one came up to us when we were eating donuts and started talking about her japanese boyfriend - while behind her, across the square, was a guy with a big ass camera taking pics. 

that was just for two of us, and my friend was in bright pink and blue tartan leggings and a mr. sparku shirt.  when you get big groups of us all in lolita people will come up - tourists mainly - and ask for photos.  guaranteed.  while people nearby stare.  and also take photos, lmao.   it's a theme.



i just want to point out my favourite features of these dresses.  BUTTBOWS. :bow: :bow: :bow:

also i just really love those socks.  is that a confession?

Verse

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Re: Confessions
« Reply #23 on: July 26, 2015, 10:53:38 pm »
I think lolita dressers might like playing shy, while they aren't. Because that might go with the image. I know nothing of this culture more than that it's aesthetically pleasing to me, though.

I don't have good posture, but think about it every now and then. I cried at the end of sharknado 3, not the end, but close to it.

I think almost every good argument in comon moral discussions such as homosexuality, abortion and good vs evil, are poorly put together and that is why the arguments on the bad sides can take hold. I blame myself for not voicing that, but I also blame people who just like the taste of an argument in their mouths even though they don't have the proper tools to wield it, or an interest to develop those tools.

Jill the Ripper

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Re: Confessions
« Reply #24 on: July 28, 2015, 02:47:08 pm »
I'm a little bit guilty of playing Devil's Adocate, Verse. Oops.  I'm a pretty argumentative person by nature.

Also I just spent more money on this:



her name is Kumakumya Chan (I think?) and she's adorable and I bought her because apparently i'm five.   i don't even regret it; she'll go with my Bear hat and my Bear dress and my Bear stockings and I will be aDORABLE. :bow: :whitecat: :jill:

Ara

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Re: Confessions
« Reply #25 on: July 28, 2015, 03:20:28 pm »
-_- you could have made that by sewing backpack straps to a stuffed animal, jillibean...

Jill the Ripper

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Re: Confessions
« Reply #26 on: July 28, 2015, 03:31:30 pm »
but then she wouldn't have the offical BABY THE STARS SHINE BRIGHT logo on her foot.... /sobs

also

this face



/sobsharder

okay okay, i'll stop spamming the confession thread with my purchases.  hobbies are expensive!!!

Ara

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Re: Confessions
« Reply #27 on: August 09, 2015, 03:57:04 pm »
I hate macaroons. I know they're fashionable now and they come in a million colors. I wanted to love them, really I did. But I don't care how cute a treat is, if it doesn't taste good it's a fail! Macaroons taste like nothing and they don't even have a good texture. They're failed cookies. DOWN WITH THE MACAROONS!

 :ninja: truth ninja

Thunderstruck

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Re: Confessions
« Reply #28 on: August 09, 2015, 05:33:02 pm »
I like macaroons. I like anything with cocanut (sp) except, ironically cocanut rum.

Confession: My dad keeps sending me a lot of interesting things via the cloud. I download them all of course, but most of it I will probably never get around to watching. It's not that I have no interest in that stuff. Quite the contrary. My father and I have a lot of common interests. It's just that When I latch onto something I like, I tend to stay with it, because, unlike my dad, I am not retired, and thus my down time is not unlimited.

For example, dad just sent me this 6-part documentary on the horrors of Auschwitz, from the second world war. I am into that stuff. Not the Nazi stuff, but that one must be reminded that it happened lest history repeat itself. The series is very well done-It's a BBC, thing so of course it would be-and I have every intention of getting to it, but I can't seem to bring myself to do it.
I have dozens of well done documentaries, that dad sent me, that I haven't gotten to yet. Everything from the history of Baseball, to the Civil War, to Prohibition. I am sure it is all very interesting, but even when I have the time, I'd rather spend it doing something of more immediate value to me, such as checking out Glendon Cameron's latest pod cast, or updating my deviant art account, or well, posting.

Ara

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Re: Confessions
« Reply #29 on: August 11, 2015, 08:26:59 pm »
Gotta say, in the handful of times I've tried macaroons over the last few years, I had no idea it was supposed to taste like coconut. Verse is a huge coconut fan! I've had to invent a number of coconut flavored things, including cupcakes, goey chocolate cake innards and coconut pancakes.

 :ninja: truth ninja- I love Bryan Adams. Gave his "best of" cd to myself for my birthday this year and it pretty much sooths my soul.